I am a huge fan of Bill Eddy, a lawyer and therapist who has authored several books on dealing with High Conflict Individuals at work and at home, and has created programs for courts to deal with such people. He is the author of Splitting, which I highly recommend to anyone who feels that they may be involved in a divorce or custody matter with a high conflict spouse or partner. I have attended trainings by Mr. Eddy and feel that his approaches are a wonderful way to look out for the best interests of children and protect individuals in high conflict cases.
Mr. Eddy, in Splitting and this blog, recommend that when involved in a high conflict case you need to take an assertive approach. How to do this? Mr. Eddy gives six keys to being assertive without being aggressive:
Talk to your attorney or therapist before you respond
Choose your battles
Don’t make yourself a target
With these techniques, along with the mindset that dealing with a high conflict individual in a marathon and not a sprint, you can protect both yourself and your children in court.